A traveling salesman was driving along a country road when he saw a farmer standing on a  ladder under an apple tree, holding in his arms a pig that was munching on the apples growing up on the tree.  Intrigued, he stopped his car and walked over to the tree, squishing a couple apples with his shoes as he drew near.  He squinted up  at the farmer and said "Howdy!  What're you doing up there?"
        The farmer replied, "I'm feeding my pig these here apples, what's it look like I'm doing?"  The salesman said "But why hold him up there?  Don't the apples just fall to the ground so he can eat them down there?"  The farmer thought a moment, and then said "Yep, I guess they do at that," and went on letting the pig feed.
         The salesman followed up, "So isn't it just a waste of time for you to be up there feeding him like that?"
         The farmer chuckled and replied, "Maybe, but...hell, what's time to a pig?"

    A traveling salesman was driving near sundown out in the country, and he pulled into a farm to ask if he could spend the night.  The farmer said "Sure, young feller," and told him to follow him around to the back of the farmhouse.  On the way the salesman saw a pig slowly making its way through the barnyard on three normal legs and a fourth one made out of wood.
    Intrigued, he asked the farmer "Say, there's something you don't see every day, a pig with a wooden leg!?  What's the story on that?"  And the farmer replied:
    "Well, let me tell you 'bout this pig.  One day, I was blind drunk, and I was stumbling over towards the road about to cross it, when, unbeknownst to me, a pickup was barrellin' along headed straight for me.  But that pig, he saw what was happening and lit out after me, and charged right into me, knockin' me clear across the road and out of the way of that truck in the nick of time.  Saved my life, he did."
    "Wow," said the salesman.  "Fantastic!  So that's how he got the wooden leg, eh--sacrificed his own body for his owner's welfare!"
    "No, no," said the farmer, "he tumbled clear of the truck right along with me.  We was both fine."
     "Well, then...how did he end up with the wooden leg?", asked the non-plussed salesman.
      "Well," continued the farmer,  "few months after that I was up on the roof fixin' some shingles, and my ladder was clear down at the other end of the roof.  Suddenly I slipped, and started slidin' down the roof--thought I was a goner.  But that pig, he took one look at what was happenin' and rushed over and stood under where I was a-comin' down off the roof, and braced his self, and I fell right on top of him.  He took the full impact of the fall, and I wasn't hurt more'n a few bruises.  I never been so scared, but he saved my life again."
    "Unbelievable," cried the salesman, shaking his head in wonder.  "So your impact crushed his leg, and that's how..."
     "No, no, young feller--he's a big porker, didn't do him no harm.  He was fine, just a little shaken up."
     Thinking he had wandered into a dreamworld, the salesman shook his head, and said, "Well, then, how on earth..."
     "Now here's a interestin' fact," interrupted the farmer, "my wife Edna last year was home here alone while I was off in Fowler visiting my sister, and Edna she was asleep one night when somehow we had a 'lectrical short and the whole house started on fire.  Now Edna's one heck of a sound sleeper, and she sure would of died that night, exceptin' this here pig ran into the house, through the smoke and flames, up the stairs into our bedroom, grabbed Edna's pajama sleeve, and hauled her on down stairs and out the door.  Then he trotted back inside and found the cell-phone and brought it on out so's Edna could call the fire department, and we saved the entire house.  Matter a fact, just finished re-paintin' it last month."
    "My God, what a story!" said the salesman, his eyes as wide as the alfalfa fields rolling out behind the farm in the setting sun.  "So that's how he lost it--got burned up in the fire!"
     The farmer laughed and said "Naw, he didn't get more'n a little singed.  Few bandaids, he was right as rain."
     Despairing, the salesman grabbed the farmer by the shoulders and pleaded, "So how?  How?!  HOW did he get the wooden leg??!"
     The farmer solemnly looked straight into his eyes.  "Well hell, son...pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once."